Alive Like Us Read online

  Sanna leaned over the desk, resting her chin in her palm. “How often do you do this, anyway?”

  “A lot. It’s the first thing they teach you at the academy.” Theo fitted the slide into the microscope and adjusted the tiny mirror beneath. “Everyone is supposed to get tested when they first arrive.” He shot Kai a pointed glare but decided not to elaborate on the uncleans he’d identified earlier today.

  “Okay, let’s see here,” he peered into the eyepiece, then immediately lurched back into his chair.

  “What is it?” Kai demanded as he strode out of a gloomy corner and stood beside Sanna.

  Theo didn’t have the words to describe what he saw. It was unbelievable. It was impossible. It was...

  “N-nothing.” He stammered. “I must have made a mistake. I probably didn’t wait long enough.”

  Kai snorted. Sanna jabbed his side with her elbow.

  Theo studied the microscope. Perhaps the eyepiece was blurry. Or the glass slide was tainted from earlier samples. Sterilization was a constant struggle without electricity.

  “I’ll just...check again.” Theo peered into the eyepiece once more, this time increasing the progression. The air vanished from his lungs.

  “Theo?” Sanna said. “You’re scaring me.”

  “The test is wrong.” He adjusted his glasses. “The slide must be compromised...or the microscope. I’ll write to New Hope and ask for another.”

  “Just tell us what you saw,” Kai said.

  “I don’t know.” Sweat trickled down Theo’s temple. The room was an oven, the air hot and dry. “I don’t—It can’t...”

  Sanna kneeled beside him, her cool hand sliding over his clenched fist. “It’s okay. It’s just me, remember? Breathe.”

  Theo sucked in a fortifying breath and let the words spill out of him. “Clean blood is easy to identify—little red rings, right?”

  “Yeah. I guess.”

  “Unclean blood has these purplish, amorphous blobs floating around. One day, those blobs will activate and start eating everything in their path, and the person becomes infected. It could happen at any time, right? Which is why uncleans are exiled.” Theo paused. His nerves were getting the best of him, building inside his chest. Kai didn’t help at all. He stood behind Sanna like a guardian angel, his intense gaze burrowing holes into Theo’s skull.

  “Go on,” Sanna pressed. “Please.”

  Theo refocused on her. “An Infected has blood cells that are dark—almost blackish red. They also have sticky spikes, no matter what stage they’re in.”

  “Are you saying I’m...” Sanna’s voice lowered to a harsh whisper. “Unclean?”

  “You’re not throwing her out, you bastard.” Kai appeared between them, quick and quiet as a shadow. “The sun’s already set. She’ll never make it.”

  Theo resisted the urge to punch him. Barely. “The only person I want to throw out of here is you. Now let me finish.”

  Kai glowered, his nostrils flaring. His control was clearly on a knife’s edge and God help whatever pushed him over.

  “Trust me.” Theo exhaled. “I’m an old friend.”

  Kai’s frown deepened, but he moved out of the way. Sanna sat on the chair, gripping its sides with white knuckles.

  Theo knelt beside her. “You’re not unclean.”

  “I’m—I’m not?” she stammered.

  Theo shook his head. “You’re not infected, either.”

  Candlelight glimmered in her eyes, making them almost luminous in the dim office. “Then what’s the problem?”

  “Sanna,” he looked at her, trying to form the words that would change her life forever. “Your blood...it isn’t even human.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  “You’re joking, right?” Sanna asked, the bottom of her stomach hitting the floor. “Theo?”

  Theo’s brown eyes were soft behind his glasses. She couldn’t stand to look at them. She stared down at her hands—her human hands. This whole thing had to be a dream. A nightmare. Theo, Kai, the voice. None of it made sense. “If I’m not human then...” she said, her whole world shifting on its axis. “What am I?”

  “Test her again,” Kai demanded. “There must have been a mistake somewhere.”

  His anger surprised her. Then again, Theo had the authority to banish anyone from the village he deemed a threat to public health. Maybe Kai was worried he’d have to leave too, if she was forced out.

  “I don’t make mistakes,” Theo grounded out, but he went through the motions again. This time, he waited for what seemed like an eternity before examining the slide beneath the microscope.

  “Exactly the same.” He stood, motioning to the device. “Look for yourself.”

  Sanna hesitated. She’d never used a microscope; her mother always said she lacked the steady focus, but she wanted to be sure. She went behind the desk and leaned over the apparatus as Theo had done. She peered into the metal tube. The slide was a deep crimson field flecked with tiny black dots.

  “I don’t know what I’m seeing.”

  “Wait for it.”

  The slide turned blackish-purple.

  “What happened? Did something break?” Sanna asked, fiddling with the bottom.

  “No. It happened to me too. The shape of the cells is different. Blood cells are round discs but yours—”

  “Are twisted,” Sanna finished. The sample turned red again, and she could see the cells curling. She looked over at Theo. “What does that mean?”

  “How do you feel?” Theo countered.

  “Fine. Normal.” She felt Kai’s gaze on her. He was probably thinking about the strange episode back in the cabin and the voice. For some reason, she didn’t want to share that with Theo. Not yet.

  “That’s good.” Theo closed the distance between them, speaking faster. “I mean, from a medical standpoint, it’s actually kind of...awesome. I’ve never seen anything like it. We’ll have to run more tests. Experiments. Collect data—”

  “Hey,” Kai interjected. “Give her some space, okay?”

  “I’m the doctor here. Why don’t you give her some space?”

  Their argument faded as Sanna stared at the microscope. She tried to fit the pieces together—the massive number of Infected she’d seen, the voice, and now...this. What was happening? She’d felt normal until last summer but now, it was like there was an entirely new being inside her, clawing its way out.

  The room shrank, the walls squeezing in with each shallow breath. Her blood wasn’t human. She wasn’t human.

  The guys’ argument grew louder. Deafening.

  “Quiet!” Sanna clutched the edge of her chair. “Can’t you see that neither of you are helping?”

  Kai stiffened. She imagined he wasn’t used to being chastised, though that was hardly her problem. She didn’t need his ham-handed, punch-everything-within-range help. Especially when she had a pretty mean right hook herself.

  Theo cleared his throat. “I can write to my mentors in New Hope and ask if they’ve seen anything similar. Maybe we can even go there—they have much more sophisticated equipment.”

  Sanna shook her head. “I can’t. Not with a horde so close. Erling’s forces are half what they should be already.”

  “New Hope isn’t as scary as you think, Sanna,” Theo said. “I can petition the Governor. I’m sure he’d let you in. You’d get much better treatment—”

  “You’re not telling anyone about this,” Kai snapped.

  “It’s my job,” Theo ground out. “I’m part of CVC. I’m supposed to report mutations.”

  “Well, which is it, Theo?” Sanna demanded. “Am I a mutant or another species?”

  “Neither,” Kai stated, flatly. “If the CVC finds out about you, you’ll either end up dead or a lab rat.”

  “Is that true, Theo? Is the CVC going to come after me?”

  “That’s just—” Theo sputtered, shaking his head, “Ridiculous! The CVC wouldn’t kill you. For all we know, you could be the cure for the infection.”


  “And what makes you think they’d want one?” Kai said softly.

  “What are you talking about? Of course they do,” Theo turned to Sanna, exasperated. “Are you hearing this? It’s like he’s one of those crazy conspiracy guys.” He glared at Kai. “Where’s your tinfoil hat, huh? Did you leave it underneath the rock you crawled out from?”

  Kai scowled, his expression black as a summer storm. This wasn’t going to end well for either of them. Sanna had a vague notion that she should intercede, yet she felt as if she were at the bottom of that lake again. Cold and distant. Their conversation escalated further, filled with attacks and counters. At that moment, she couldn’t muster a single iota of caring.

  “The world needs to know.”

  “Get over yourself. It’s her blood, her life and she should decide who knows about it.”

  Nausea twisted her stomach. She shot from her chair and shoved Kai out of the way as she raced for the exit, bending over the porch banister in the nick of time. She retched until the bitter taste of bile coated her tongue. The cold air licked the sweat from her skin and she suddenly wondered if she could somehow rid herself of the alien blood the same way her stomach evicted her lunch.

  She crouched down, tucking her knees to her chest. Too bad it wasn’t that simple. The strange blood was part of her, a poison flowing through her veins. Her eyes burned, casting the quarantine yard in a watery haze. Had she been born like this? If so, why had no one noticed? Her own mother was a doctor.

  The door behind her squeaked open. Sanna dashed the tears from her cheeks as Kai appeared beside her, a glass of water in one hand, her coat in the other. He must think her an idiot, running outside without her coat. She hadn’t even felt the cold.

  “The quack agreed not to send any letters without your approval.” He handed her the coat first, then the water. “Though I couldn’t stop him from recording his observations.”

  “I’m not surprised.” She rinsed the bitter taste out of her mouth. “Theo has always taken his responsibilities seriously.”

  Kai braced his arms on the banister and looked out on the barren yard. “I could steal his book, if you want.”

  Sanna leaned against the railing beside him. “So you are a thief.”

  “Reformed,” he said, then added. “Mostly.”

  “I’m not worried about Theo.” Sanna’s lips quirked into a half-smile. “We’re old friends. He left a long time ago, after a small horde broke through the gates and killed his father. He wanted to become a doctor, so my parents sent him to New Hope. I missed him. A lot. He’s actually very nice. A bit weird, but then again so am I.”

  “A horde got into Erling? When?”

  “It happens every so often. Though the worst was eight years ago, when we were ten and on our way to school. His dad was our teacher.” Sanna stamped the cup’s rim onto the snow-covered railing, creating little rings. “The main gate was opened for an incoming caravan when an infected horde rose from the Gauntlet and barreled through. They were fast that year. Theo and I hid in a chimney for hours. We came out covered from head to toe in soot.”

  “Pretty smart.”

  “It was his idea. I wanted to join the fight.”

  Kai chuckled, but his smile faded quickly, replaced by a look of deadly seriousness. “I don’t think you can fight your way out of this.”

  “Out of what?”

  His lips squeezed into a grim line, as if the words tasted bitter. “I’ve seen the way people treat you here. I’ve heard what they say. They’re already suspicious. If they find out you’re different, it’ll be all the proof they need to turn ugly.”

  He’s saying I should leave Erling. But how? Where would she go? This was her home. Her family was here. It was all she’d ever known. Her life was slipping through her grasp like grains of sand until she had nothing left.

  The door creaked open behind them. “Merrick, we still gotta do you,” Theo announced from the threshold, looking grim.

  Sanna raced down the steps.

  “Hey,” Kai said, ignoring Theo’s protests. “Where are you going?”

  “I need to talk to my mom,” she called over her shoulder. “I’ll see you later.”

  “No—wait a sec!”

  She looked around for the young guard and found him snoozing in the tiny stand nearby. She slapped the window. “Open it. Now.”

  The boy jumped to attention and shuffled over to the gate. He was moving so slow she wanted to scream.

  “Don’t you think they already know?” Kai said, catching up to her. “Your mom’s a doctor. They’ve been keeping this a secret.”

  “They’re my parents. They must have a reason.”

  “Are you sure?” Kai dogged her steps as she headed down the alley. “Haven’t they ever seemed old to you? I mean, it’s been a long time since I read a fertility report but the chances of Anne Erling having a daughter your age...”

  “What are you trying to say, Kai?” Sanna said, whirling around. “That they kidnapped me? Why?”

  “I don’t know,” Kai admitted. “But I think you’re different, Sanna. Special. I’m pretty sure you’ve felt that way too. The infected act weird around you, don’t they? Sometimes they attack. Other times they listen. It’s like you’re a part of them. A hybrid, almost.”

  “Theo was right,” Sanna said, feeling vaguely sad. “You really are one of the crazies aren’t you? What you're talking about doesn’t exist. It’s a fairy tale, like Santa Clause or the internet.” She continued on, ignoring him.

  “Listen,” Kai overtook her as soon as the alley widened. “Someone sent me to find you. Her name is Iris, and I think she’s a lot like you. She has a pair of stage twos as pets. She says something is after you and that you’re running out of time. She wants to meet you—”

  “So, you lied to me? You really weren’t heading for Canada, then.”

  “I was...until I ran into her. She’s taking care of my sister right now. I was waiting for the right moment to explain everything. Would you have believed me if I told you back at the cabin?”

  “Move.” Sanna squeezed her hands into fists, her fingernails biting into the flesh of her palms. She’d been so stupid. Again. When would she learn that everyone just wanted something out of her? “Before I make you.”

  Kai’s eyes widened slightly. He stepped aside, but immediately fell in behind her. “What about the voice? Do you think it’s just a coincidence that Iris sent me here around the same time it started speaking to you? That could be what she was warning me about.”

  “If this Iris person is so powerful, then why didn’t she come herself?”

  “I think she’s hiding from whatever’s hunting you. She warned that the longer you stay in Erling, the more dangerous it gets for you and everyone else.”

  Sanna slowed, nearing the mouth of the alley. She had to admit that things did seem to be stacking up in favor of this Iris person actually existing.

  She turned to Kai. “What does she mean, more dangerous?”

  “I think the voice is real. You said it tried to control you, right? But it failed, so now it wants to kill you. I think the stronger you become, the more it sees you as a threat. That’s why Iris said I had to take you to her as soon as possible. I think she knows how to hide from it.”

  “So, the horde’s out there because of...me?” Sanna said, the realization hitting her like a punch to the gut. She’d devoted her life to protecting this place and was now its biggest threat. What was she going to do?

  “What’s wrong? This isn’t a bad thing—”

  “Are you kidding?” She felt like an Inferno bomb about to explode. “Wherever I go, this horde is going to follow me. For the rest of my life, I’ll put anyone close to me in danger.” Her throat tightened. “Everyone was right. I am a curse.”

  “You don’t know that. If Iris can teach you how to control the Infected, you could change the world. You could make things better.”

  “Or I could destroy whole cities just b
y being in them,” she said bitterly. “I have to leave Erling before it's wiped off the map.”

  She turned away, wanting to get as far away from Erling and Kai as possible. He grabbed her wrist. “You’re not alone, Sanna. I can take you to Iris. She can help.”

  “How do you know the Infected won’t hound us the whole way there? The forest could be crawling with them. You could get killed just like all the others.”

  “I’ll be fine. We’ll get some horses and sneak out. We can be at Iris’s place in a few days. She can help. Maybe she even knows how to stop the horde.”

  A jagged wind cut through Sanna’s coat as she considered Kai’s offer, carrying a few stray snowflakes that rapidly increased to a thick, white curtain. Alarm sizzled up her nerves. They weren’t alone.

  A sharp yelp pierced the silence.

  “Frankie!” Kai said, sprinting towards the sound.

  “Wait—” Sanna reached for him but missed. She followed, dread twisting her stomach into knots.

  The wind picked up, stirring the snow into a haze. She squinted, her face burning from the cold, and kept going. She smacked into something solid, her nose buzzing from the impact, and landed hard on her butt.

  “Are you okay?” Kai asked, appearing beside her.

  “I’m fine—" her words ended in a gasp as a gloved hand shot out from the white. It clamped around her bicep and hauled her up.

  “Move,” Raj shoved her to the side. He was dressed entirely in black, except for the red lines of paint streaked across his face.

  More footsteps crunched through the snow, surrounding them. There had to be at least six other people—but were these soldiers or something else?

  “Kai Merrick, you’re under arrest.” The Lieutenant appeared next to Raj.

  “For what reason?” she demanded.

  Ivan stepped into view. Dark lines ran like claw marks across his missing eye. All of his usual jolliness had disappeared, and the man beneath was carved from granite. “He’s Inferno, Sanna. We found the old warrant.”

  Shock hit Sanna in an icy wave. She turned to Kai. “Is it true?”