Alive Like Us Read online

  Kai made a mental note to search the rest of Erling’s emergency cabins when he had the chance. His fingertips brushed the smooth, waxy spheres he’d been hunting for in his backpack. “Catch.”

  He tossed her an orange. She caught it with a gasp, turning the rare fruit around in her hands. Seeing her so enraptured was worth the trouble it had taken to steal them.

  “Where’d you get this? I’ve only seen them once, when I was little.”

  Kai shrugged, taking out one for himself. He reached for the knife Sanna had left on the floor and sat back in his chair, cutting the fruit into sections and carving off the rind. The scent of citrus enveloped him. He popped the fruit into his mouth, relishing its sweet tang.

  Sanna peeled the rind with her fingers and ate the sections in reverent silence, pausing to savor each one with a tiny grin.

  Heat crawled up Kai’s neck. He busied himself with finding the last bundle of elk jerky in his pack, also courtesy of that merchant. The man should've paid his guards better.

  “My parents must be so worried,” Sanna muttered once the orange was gone. “I’ll be lucky if they don’t kill me. I really should be heading back.”

  “It’s the middle of the night. If the cold didn’t get you, the Infected would. I’m sure they’ll just be thrilled you’re alive.”

  “My mom, maybe. My dad...mostly just scowls.” She glanced at the window. “I suppose you’re right though. It’s too dangerous to travel now.”

  Kai bit back a grin. “Ready for your second course?”

  He handed her a bundle of jerky. She stared at the bundle for a split-second, as if debating whether to take it. “Is there enough for you?”

  “I had mine while you were sleeping,” he lied.

  “I’m fine, really.”

  Was that pity in her voice? Heat crawled up Kai’s neck as he dropped the jerky back into his bag. He knew he was thin—the hollow ache of hunger reminded him nearly every hour of every day—but he hadn’t noticed the difference between him and Sanna. She was healthy. Strong. He probably looked like a warmed-over skeleton. And to think he’d thought she was flirting with him.

  “Just so you know,” Sanna began, a pretty blush stained her cheeks, “what happened earlier...I don’t—” she caught her bottom lip with her teeth and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I-I don’t know what came over me. My head’s been a little...clouded lately.”

  What did I expect? I'm nothing, remember? A nobody. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “I mean—we don’t even know each other—”

  “I get it,” Kai stood up and took the pewter pitcher from the mantle. He poured two glasses of water, handing Sanna one. “Happens all the time.”

  Sanna’s eyebrows lifted.

  “I mean, c’mon, girls can’t control themselves when they see...” He made a mocking flourish with his hand, encompassing his entire body. “This.”

  “Must get kind of annoying.”

  “It’s a big problem.” Kai continued, nodding like a sage. "You’re just another victim of the Merrick charm, I’m afraid. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

  That had been close to the truth about his life in New Hope. It wasn’t like he gave off weird pheromones or anything. He had, however, been part of a rich and powerful family, which was practically the same thing. It had been a long way down from that pedestal.

  “And here I thought I was going nuts,” Sanna said, laughter dancing in her too-blue eyes. “You should warn people.”

  Kai feigned solemnity. “I try.”

  He was stupid for feeling hurt by her rejection. It was his own damn fault for thinking this stranger would see him for what he used to be, not for what he was now. Broke. Homeless. Hell, he couldn’t even take decent care of his baby sister.

  “Kai,” Sanna hesitated, “I don’t know where you’re headed, but you look like you could use a few days rest and decent food. Why don’t you come to Erling with me? It’s the least I can do.”

  “You should be careful who you invite beyond your precious walls. For all you know, I could be a murderer or worse...an unclean.”

  “Are you?”

  Her simple question hung in the air, reminding Kai of the chasm between them. It didn’t matter how many lives he saved. If the answer was yes, walls would come up and he would be thrown out like so much trash. But this wasn’t about him. It was about Esme and the fresh start that awaited them.

  “No.” The word left a bitter taste in his mouth.

  “Good,” she yawned. “I’m exhausted, even after sleeping all day.”

  “I’ll take the first watch,” Kai crossed over to the door, not wanting her to see how nervous she made him. How insecure.

  “Kai?” Sanna whispered.

  He glanced over his shoulder and found her already stretched out on the cot, her sculpted arms tucked beneath her head.

  “Thanks. For saving me.”

  A smile played across his lips. It was weird, he couldn’t remember a time he’d smiled so much in a single evening. “No problem.”

  He lifted the wooden plank to let Frankie out for the night. He cracked open the door and the dog barreled out, dashing down the steps. Kai followed, taking the mutt’s eagerness as a good sign. He had a nose for the Infected, and the heart of a coward.

  Kai scanned the woods, wondering where the Infected had gone. Had they chased after Simon and the other girl? Or disbanded after devouring the twins?

  The forest was silent. Waiting.

  The hairs on his neck prickled. Something was wrong. Branches rattled. Frankie bolted out from the dark towards him, his ears plastered to his skull. He raced up the steps and scratched the door, whining.

  They’re here. Kai felt their presence amongst the trees. Their cold, calculating stares. A stage one shifted behind a scrubby bush, her gray-white skin perfect camouflage, though her eyes burned like red coals in the gloom.

  He edged towards the door, knowing that if he made a run for it he’d trigger a lightning-fast attack. More shadows shifted amongst the brush. He climbed the steps, backward. Jace and Trevor lumbered into view, long strands of drool dangling from their gaping mouths. Jace’s arm was missing, while the other guy had a massive hunk bitten out of his shoulder. Freshly killed, they were both in the earliest and most unpredictable stage of infection.

  This was bad. Really bad. Kai’s lungs burned for air, but he didn’t dare take a breath. The doorknob poked into his spine. He reached behind him, his fingers curling around the cold metal. He’d have to be fast...

  He twisted the handle and fell backward, pushing the door open with his weight. Frankie scooted between his legs. Kai slammed the door and slid the pine beam into place. A powerful force crashed into it. Once, twice.

  Kai peered out the window. The twins were taking turns throwing their bodies against the door. Other more advanced Infected prowled the cabin’s perimeter, searching for a way in.

  Sanna whimpered from across the room. She was writhing on the cot as if in the throes of a nightmare, her face twisted in pain.

  Kai wished he’d been strong enough to carry her to Erling in the first place, like Simon had with Haven.

  The window exploded above him. He ducked as the glass rained down. A long, waxy arm darted through the window’s metal bars, clawing the empty air above him.

  Kai slipped the dagger from his boot and surged upward, slicing it. The Infected screamed as black blood sprayed the floor. The arm disappeared. Silence settled over the cabin. What’s going on?

  Something heavy slammed into the door beside him, the thunderous noise loud enough to rattle his skull. Kai feared it wouldn’t hold—despite the plank. He’d forgotten to check the hinges. They could be rusted. Weak. He gathered the cabin’s meager furniture and shoved it all in front of the door, except for a single chair that he positioned in front of the heap.

  He sat down, Sanna’s battle ax gripped tight in his hand. His foot tattooed a nervous rhythm on the floor as he waited, staring at the hea
p of rubble separating him from certain death should the door give way.

  Boom. Boom. Boom. The Infected were still working on the door, throwing themselves against it. Each impact made the pile of furniture squeak.

  They were gonna rip this place a part.

  A bitter, icy wind snaked through the broken window. Behind him, the fire sputtered. He’d have to feed it. Kai gave the door one last look before throwing a couple of logs onto the blaze. He jabbed the coals with a long stick until the fire was a healthy blaze.

  There. One problem solved...

  Sanna gasped behind him. He whirled around. She was lying on the cot, her spine arched and her chest shaking. Her hands clutched her throat in a white-knuckled grip. Frankie whined, slinking beneath the other cot.

  “Sanna?” Kai said, jostling her shoulder. “Hey, wake up. You’re having a nightmare.” And I’m living one.

  A strangled sound escaped from her throat. Kai forced her fingers off, one by one, until her arms dropped to her sides, rigid as branches. He sat back, gasping.

  Sanna relaxed, her expression calm. The pounding had stopped, and an empty, eerie silence filled the room.

  Relief washed over him. Whatever had happened to her seemed to be over. He stood and was about to return to his chair when a dark streak caught his attention. He paused, studying her exposed neck. What the...?

  A bruise had begun to form, purpling the otherwise milky surface, and a thin ribbon of darkness trickled from one of the crescent-shaped wounds stamped into it by her fingernails.

  Black blood.

  No. It couldn’t be...

  The fire popped, sending a shower of sparks into the air that illuminated the thin black line trailing down her neck and a dark, delicate web of capillaries clustered around her temple.

  Kai stumbled back. His pulse quickened. Every cell in his body screamed to run. Black blood meant Infected. Death. He knocked into the chair behind him and groped for the axe. She could attack at any moment.

  Didn’t they always freeze before the change? She might as well be a corpse.

  He lifted the weapon, his mind racing. He didn’t think she'd been bitten—there was no blood on her clothes, no tears that he could see. He squeezed his eyes shut and drummed up the courage to look again, expecting her to be standing beside him, her razor-sharp teeth inches from his neck.

  He held his breath, ready to swing.

  She was sleeping on the cot. Like a damn angel. The dark cluster near her temple had vanished. The blood on her neck gleamed in the firelight, as red as rubies.

  Kai sank to his chair. He must be losing it. The day had been grueling, and he was exhausted.

  He placed the axe in his lap, combing his hair with a shaking hand. Get a grip. Stay focused. The sooner he got Sanna to Iris, the sooner he could be on his way north with Esme.

  The visions of inky blood and veins replayed in Kai’s mind. He told himself he wouldn’t wake her because she needed sleep, and not because of the evil that might be lurking beneath that porcelain skin.

  An ear-splitting screech tore Kai from the sleep he’d tried to avoid. He jumped off the cot and peered out the window. A stage one was outside the door, raking her fingernails against the metal in slow, determined swipes.

  Kai aimed his dagger and threw. The Infected crumpled to the ground, the hilt of his blade sticking out of her temple. He’d retrieve it once dawn broke. Hopefully then the world would make sense.

  Hours later, fabric whispered behind him. Sanna rolled onto her side, facing him. Pale light cut through the curtains, illuminating her very human face. He felt like a fool, and yet, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d witnessed something horrific last night. Something he didn't understand.

  Had the assault on the cabin been an attack, or an invitation?

  CHAPTER TEN

  Sanna paced around the small cabin like an animal trapped in a cage. Last night replayed in her mind, over and over. First, the horrible, intrusive voice wanting her to kill and then the overwhelming urge to...what? Kiss Kai?

  The swings in her emotions left her feeling worn and bruised. They didn’t make any sense, either. She rarely noticed guys, except when they doubted her or gave orders. Even with Nico, she’d felt only the shallow stirrings of interest. Nothing like the heady, dangerous rush with Kai.

  What did that mean? Was it yet another manipulation of the voice, or was she really attracted to him?

  Regardless, she feared the voice was gaining power. She’d have to tell her parents about it when she got home. Maybe even quit being a soldier. She couldn’t keep Erling safe if she was a danger to it...

  Hot, frustrated tears watered her vision. She was ready to devote her entire life to protecting Erling, like her father. Her earliest memories were toddling after him through the armory, mimicking his soldiers’ daily practice. She could nock an arrow before she could tie a shoe.

  Kai shifted on his cot. He was still sleeping. At least she wouldn’t have to explain why she was crying. To begin with, I’m losing my mind...

  The mid-morning sun pierced through the curtain, casting a beam of dust-filled light directly on him. She wanted to wake him, to get moving, but decided against it. He needed sleep. And food. Even now shadows clung beneath his eyes. His black hair tumbled over his brow, softening his otherwise severe face.

  She spotted the kettle on the mantle, next to the metal pitcher, and picked it up. Water sloshed within. She set the kettle over the fire.

  “No!” Kai lurched up, slicing the air with a dagger. He was breathing heavy, his eyes wide with terror.

  Sanna leapt away, tripping over Frankie. “It’s just me. You were dreaming.” She eyed the dagger gripped tight in his hand. He was a much faster draw than she would’ve guessed.

  “Are you...” he kept the dagger raised, ready to attack, “feeling okay?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  Kai held her gaze a moment longer, as if searching for something. The dagger disappeared into the folds of his clothes in a single, fluid movement. “How’s your neck?”

  “My what?” Sanna touched her throat and winced. Her skin was tender, and there was a scattering of small scabs beneath her fingertips. “What happened?”

  “A seizure, I think.” Kai swung his long legs over the side of the cot and jammed his feet into a pair of worn, mismatched boots.

  The bottom of her stomach dropped out. Seizure?

  “Don’t worry,” Kai shrugged into his ragged coat. “My sister never remembered hers either.” He crossed over to the broken window and looked out.

  “I already scouted the perimeter. There’s no sign of them. They must have moved on in the night.” She’d been oddly comforted by the dead female sprawled out on the stoop. For once, someone had protected her.

  Kai opened the door for Frankie. “I don’t like it. They’ve been so active lately.”

  You don’t know the half of it. She'd learned firsthand that the virus was evolving during her supply run last summer, though no one believed her.

  The kettle whistled. He whipped around, ready to attack.

  “What’s gotten into you? It’s like...you’re expecting an Alpha to bust through the roof or something.”

  “Sorry,” Kai dropped his arms. “I didn’t sleep that well.”

  He made a wide berth around her and began to rifle through that enormous treasure-trove of a backpack.

  Was he avoiding her? Embarrassed about what happened? She sank into a nearby chair, wishing she could melt into the floor instead. A cold breeze sent a shiver down her spine, stemming from the broken window. Odd. The infected must’ve really done a number on this place. No wonder the door had been barricaded.

  Kai scooped something into two chipped mugs and added steaming water, then waited a few minutes. He sniffed the elixir, the tension easing from his face, and handed her the other one.

  “Thanks,” Sanna embraced the cup with both hands. Curls of spicy steam wafted upward—black tea with cinnamon and clov
es. “It smells wonderful."

  He offered her a hard biscuit. She accepted, her stomach growling, and dunked it into the tea. “What were you doing in the woods yesterday?”

  “I was heading to Erling, actually.”

  “Really? Why would you want to go there?”

  The corner of his lips kicked up. “A fresh start. When I heard your name, I figured helping you'd be a good way to get through the gate.” He crunched into his biscuit.

  He was right, she supposed. Saving her would improve his chances. Erlingers hated to be indebted to anyone, least of all an Outsider. She brought the mug to her lips and took a delicate sip. It was the best thing she’d ever tasted.

  “Nice, right?” He grinned. “Hard to get, too.”

  “Mmm,” Sanna agreed as the warmth slid down her throat. Last night’s orange. This morning’s cinnamon tea. He must be as rich as the Governor to have such luxury in the dead of winter. Or be a very good thief.

  They ate their simple meal in companionable silence as the fire snapped and popped in the hearth. Kai began cleaning up, whistling a jaunty tune. He reached for her dishes. “Finished?”

  “Ah, yes.” She passed him the cup. “Thanks.”

  “You can wash up over there,” he pointed to a corner of the room where a blanket was strung up like a curtain. He must have done that while she was sleeping. “We should be going soon.” He handed her a basin of warm water along with a small cloth. His fingertips brushed hers, sending a delicious shiver up her arm.

  She jerked away and hurried over to the quilt. Get a hold of yourself. She was a soldier, not some lovesick teenager.

  She shucked off her clothes and did her best to ignore how good the warm water felt. Propping her foot on a nearby chair, she glided the cloth down her leg.

  Thunk! Kai must’ve dropped something. He muttered a soft curse as it rolled across the floor.

  Sanna bit her lip. Was he watching her silhouette?

  She set her other foot on the chair and washed that leg with greater leisure. The air felt dense and heavy, as if the cabin was holding its breath. Or maybe it was just her, holding her own.