Alive Like Us Read online

  Kai cleared his throat.

  The heady moment vanished, leaving her shocked. The washcloth suddenly felt like a cold fish and she threw it into the basin, water splashing on her bare feet.

  She pulled on her clothes with shaking hands. The wool felt as rough as sandpaper on her skin, but at least her body was lost underneath the thick material.

  The fire was hissing by the time she lifted the curtain. Kai was pouring the rest of the water over it, his sleeves neatly folded to keep from getting wet.

  “Aren’t you going to—” she gasped, her gaze landing on his exposed forearms. From wrist to elbow, his skin was a raised, twisting map of agony. White ridges of scar tissue met with mottled, salmon-brown valleys. The burns must have been excruciating. “Those scars...what happened?”

  Kai flinched and dropped the kettle. It made a hollow, tinny sound as it rolled across the floor. “Nothing.”

  “They look fresh,” she stepped towards him. “Did it happen here? The guard and I can track down whoever did it—”

  “Forget about it.”

  “I mean it, Kai. Whoever did this should be stopped before they hurt anyone else. The Lieutenant will—”

  “The last thing I want is the government’s help. Or yours. I can take care of myself.”

  “Really? Because your arms say otherwise.”

  The words poured out before she could stop them. Kai stiffened as if she’d struck him, his jaw firming.

  “Sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

  He turned away. She tensed. She was used to her fellow soldiers roaring when they got angry. Throwing fists and toppling chairs. Kai’s frigid silence, however, seemed far more threatening.

  “We should get going,” he set the kettle back on the mantle with extra care. “Erling is what—six miles from here?”

  “Seven.”

  “There’s a coat over there if you want it,” he pointed to a brown monstrosity hanging near the front door. “Yours is probably at the bottom of the lake by now.”

  He crossed the room without another word and shut the door softly behind him.

  What were you thinking? Sanna inhaled a deep breath and grabbed the coat from the hook, shrugging into it. It swallowed her completely, the hem falling past her knees. She picked her ax up from the floor and hurried after him.

  She burst through the door. “Hey.”

  Kai was wrenching his knife from an Infected corpse, while Frankie waited a few paces ahead, his tail swishing.

  “I’m really sorry. If anyone can’t take care of themselves, it's me. I’d be at the bottom of the lake with Haven if it weren’t for you.”

  Kai cleaned his blade and straightened. She suddenly feared whatever budding connection they’d had was gone. She’d ruined it, just like she ruined everything else in the past year.

  “It’s true,” he said, staring down at the bloodstained snow. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I haven’t always been as strong as I liked to be. But I’m getting better. Or trying to, anyways.”

  Sanna climbed down the steps, stopping alongside him. His lips held in a tight, bitter line.

  “Hey,” she nudged his shoulder. “If you ever want to swap stories about screwing up, let me know. I bet I’d have you beat ten-to-one. Just ask Haven. Or my parents. They’ll want to meet you, by the way. Or maybe interrogate is the better word.”

  A smile flickered across his face. “We better not keep them waiting, then. Lead the way.”

  “What do you have against the government, anyways?” Sanna started down the path through the woods. Frankie trotted beside her; his feathery ears perked. “You almost sounded like a radical back there.”

  “A...friend. She’s unclean. I hate how much that stupid test changed her life.”

  “An unclean? Really?” A small, hopeful part of her shriveled. “Aren’t you afraid of getting infected? I mean, couldn’t she turn at any minute?”

  “That’s what the government wants you to think. It’s rarely so dramatic. People who are bitten tend to change way faster than uncleans. An unclean can have days or weeks of symptoms before they completely turn and that’s only after the virus inside of them is activated.”

  “Really?” Sanna frowned. She’d been taught uncleans could change in a heartbeat, which was why they were so dangerous and had to be kept outside the walls. “I’ve never heard that before.”

  Kai shrugged. “Few people know the truth.”

  “So,” Sanna eyed him. “Where’d you meet this girl?”

  “I’ve known her my whole life. My parents were merchants, so we traveled a lot.”

  “Well, I hope you lower your expectations when it comes to Erling. We’re basically a mud puddle with a militia.”

  “I don’t know,” Kai caught her glance. “It seems pretty great already.”

  She fought back a smile, and the air between them shimmered with promise.

  THERE WAS A TRAITOR in Kai’s midst.

  Frankie, the ugly mutt, had ignored him all morning, preferring instead to be Sanna’s perpetual roadblock as they headed towards Erling. Every time she nudged him out of the way, he looked at her in adoration. Kai should have warned her before she snuck a bit of jerky to the mongrel earlier. Then again, some lessons were better learned through experience.

  Frankie’s tail batted a nearby bush, sending a cloud of snow glittering to the ground.

  “Could you...call him or something?” Sanna asked, shoving Frankie away with her leg.

  Kai whistled. Frankie’s lupine ears barely flicked in his direction. He smiled softly. At least he knew what the going rate for loyalty was around here.

  The thought of loyalty soured his mood. Sanna clearly trusted him—at least enough to bring him to Erling. He’d been surprised by her easy offer. If Esme were with him, he’d be absolutely thrilled. They could hide out in Erling until this damn winter finally passed. The Inferno couldn’t touch them there—even Hayes feared the government’s long arm.

  But Esme was miles away, fighting for her life. The only way Kai would see her again was if he delivered the first person in years who had treated him with kindness and generosity.

  Even if Esme was here, Sanna’s generosity was bound to have its limits. And inviting an unclean into her precious sanctum would be one of them.

  He usually didn’t mind lying, but something about Sanna’s trust made him feel particularly slimy about it. She’d seemed legitimately upset by his scars this morning, and her promise to avenge him had been genuine. The thought of Hayes being beaten by a girl half his size brightened Kai’s grim mood. If only he’d met Sanna years ago...

  Forget it. What good was it to dwell on the past? It’d never helped him before.

  If he was honest with himself—which he generally avoided—he would admit that this whole mission was making him cross lines he’d swore he never would. Iris had warned him that horrible things might happen if he’d tried to kidnap Sanna by force alone. So, he’d steeped her tea with valerian root this morning, as Iris had shown him, and waited for it to take effect. He shouldn’t have been so relieved when it didn’t work.

  He rolled his shoulders, shifting the bow to the other side. The dense pine and birch forest thinned as they drew closer to Lake Superior, the gray sky mirrored in its vast waters.

  He had to think of another way to get Sanna to Iris. One that didn’t involve drugging her for a week, since there was no way he was using the rest of the powdered root at the bottom of his bag.

  What if he were to tell her the truth—that Iris wanted to meet her for reasons she refused to explain? That his sister’s fate hung in the balance? Would Sanna go with him? God knows he wouldn’t risk the journey for complete strangers. It didn’t help that he’d lectured her about the plight of the uncleans. He’d been lucky that she didn’t ditch him.

  If he couldn’t drug Sanna, couldn’t physically force her, and couldn’t tell her the truth, that left him only one option—persuasion. He had to convince her that taking a dangero
us, week-long journey to meet a woman who used Infected like they were puppets could help her in some way. No big deal, right?

  He might be stuck using the valerian root after all.

  Sanna giggled up ahead. She’d paused to watch Frankie try to scrabble up a tree. A fat squirrel sat on a branch, chattering at him, its bushy tail flicking. The sunlight knifed through the clouds, turning her white-gold hair into a halo.

  “Does he ever catch one?”

  “I think he's more into the thrill of the chase.” It struck him that she might have a boyfriend, or something even more serious. She looked old enough—late teens, probably. Most colonists got married by then.

  Sanna’s smile faded. She straightened, her focus shifting to the forest behind Kai. “Something’s coming.”

  Kai nocked an arrow, swinging around. “Stay behind me.”

  He could feel rather than see her eyes roll. Frankie growled. Something scuttled out from the tree line, low to the ground and camouflaged by snow.

  Kai tensed. They should run for the trees. They were too exposed out here. He considered dropping the pack, but it could serve as a shield. Sanna glared at the forest, her knuckles blanching as she squeezed her axe.

  A male Infected staggered into view, his fine clothes ripped and bloodied. He was a fresh one—his clumsy gait and thick head of coppery hair a dead giveaway. He slumped onto all fours and bared his teeth. The stance was typical of new Infected—like infants, it took time for them to learn how to walk. And run.

  “Nico,” Sanna gasped.

  “He’s gonna charge.” Kai aimed and drew back.

  The Infected sprung forward, zigzagging. Kai’s fingers slipped on the bowstring just as Sanna lurched into view, blocking his shot. He jerked to the left at the last moment, his arrow sailing into the trees.

  “I could’ve killed you!” He swung towards her. “What were you—” the words died on his lips. She was walking towards him. The beheaded Infected was sprawled behind her in a pool of oily blood.

  No normal person could move that fast. Iris was right. She was dangerous.

  Sanna bent to wipe her axe clean, then passed him without a second glance. “Let’s go. There could be others.”

  For a split-second, Kai longed to head in the opposite direction. “You should have let me handle it.”

  “Why?”

  “You knew each other.”

  “So?” Sanna rubbed her sleeve across her eyes. “It’s not like we were in love or anything. We just dated. It ended badly even before he was bitten. He helped the Bone Boys try to kidnap me a little over a week ago, but a small horde got in the way.”

  She must still be single. The thought stunned him, surging up from some lonely corner of his heart. He shoved it away. He’d be a real idiot to get tangled with a girl who’d just beheaded her ex. Better to stay friends and focused on the goal. He’d convince her of Iris’s many questionable merits, and then leave her at the weird lady’s door.

  Kai scanned the forest behind them. Nothing. He caught up with Sanna, who’d strode ahead. “You mean he gave up a life with you just to connive with a bunch of tattooed losers? No wonder the Infected got him. Sounds like an idiot.”

  “One of their new recruits tried to scale our walls last summer and died in a fall. My dad had the brilliant idea to string him up as a warning, hoping to scare the others off. I guess they decided to retaliate instead. The whole thing’s turning into a war. I was just a pawn.”

  “No, pawns are expendable. They chose you because they knew you were valuable.”

  “That’s probably the nicest way anyone has ever described an attempted kidnapping,” she said wryly. “You have a way with words, Kai Merrick.”

  “I learned from the best. My mother was a writer who got into politics after my sister was born.”

  “In New Hope?”

  Kai nodded, surprised he’d even mentioned her. “She used to say words were more powerful than any weapon. I don’t know if I believe that anymore.”

  “She sounds very special,” she caught his gaze, her brilliant blue eyes reminding him of Iris. “We should pick up the pace.”

  Sanna broke into a jog. Kai followed, Frankie loping beside him. Every few feet Kai would survey their surroundings, feeling edgy. Where were the Infected who had attacked last night? And what about the Alpha who had tried to attack him a few days ago?

  “By the way, you’ll need to get a physical once we cross through the gates,” Sanna warned as flashes of Erling’s rusty metal walls appeared between the pines. “My mom or Haven will give it. My dad or his second-in-command Raj might interview you, too. Hey,” she stopped. “Do you smell that?”

  “What?”

  “Metal,” she sniffed the air and studied the clouds. “Like rain. But it never rains in the middle of February. Weird."

  Kai shrugged. “So security is pretty tight in Erling?”

  “Yeah. We’re the only colony this far north, so we get a decent number of travelers. As long as you pass the blood test and don’t have a bounty on your head you'll be fine.”

  Kai stumbled. The bounty. He hadn’t thought about that in years. When he’d been with the Inferno, it hadn’t mattered, and surely it had been buried by now. He probably wasn’t even that high on the list anymore. But if it was still active...

  He should stop. Turn back. Crossing Erling’s gates could be the same as walking into a jail cell. But then what? What if Iris did something to Esme? He’d left his sister in a nest of snakes, and there was only one way to get her out.

  Wanted posters were mailed to the colonies. It’s possible that Erling lost his over the years. And if they hadn’t, his would likely be at the bottom of a stack somewhere. If he found it before anyone realized who he was, he’d be safe.

  “Hurry up,” Sanna said. She was a few yards ahead of them. “We should get to the Gauntlet before the storm starts, otherwise they won’t send out an escort.”

  Kai followed her, his stomach-churning. Kai had started to wonder if Sanna was even human—and if she wasn’t, then what did that make the people who’d raised her? And how merciful would they be to a murderer in their midst?

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Nine days ago, Sanna had been lucky. She wasn’t so sure it would happen again.

  She stared down the thin strip of land known as The Gauntlet—a barren swath of ground between the dense forest surrounding Erling, and the line of flags marking the reach of her archers. During the summer the Infected would hide in the tall grass outside the Kill Zone, ready to pounce on unsuspecting travelers like giant spiders. Winter usually offered a reprieve, but there was no guarantee the snow-swept field wasn’t riddled with them now.

  It was a short distance, less than a half-mile, but one that was soaked in the blood of the unprepared. Sanna had seen it happen hundreds of times. Caravans almost always made it. People on horseback had a chance. But those on foot like her and Kai? Slim to none.

  The deaths had gotten so bad that her father had signs posted on the edge of the forest, warning people to turn around if they weren’t properly armed. Kai studied them as they passed but made no mention of the stick figures being chased by the Infected.

  Sanna and Haven had received an escort when they left. If she built a large enough fire now, the guards might send a team out to fetch her. But she feared they were running out of time.

  A faint tremor traveled through the thick soles of her boots. “Do you feel that?”

  “What?” Kai asked.

  “It’s like the ground is...” she paused, trying to make sense of the strange feeling. “Pulsing.”

  Frankie growled beside her, staring into the white. The Infected were out there, all right. She could feel them squirming awake beneath the snow. “This isn’t going to be easy.”

  “The cabin’s not that far,” Kai began. “We can turn back—”

  “No. They’re behind us too. Probably the same ones that attacked last night.”

  Kai spun around; an ar
row nocked. “Where?”

  “In the forest.” They were gathering like a pack of wolves, waiting for the moment to strike.

  “How do you know?”

  She squinted as the wind shrieked across the field, stirring the snow into an icy, needling haze. “Once we cross those flags, the archers will protect us until the gates can be opened. Are you ready?”

  Kai’s lips pressed into a thin, determined line. “Stay close.”

  “I was about to tell you the same thing.”

  The forest rustled behind them. Frankie whirled around and barked as three Infected emerged from the dark woods.

  “Now!” Sanna shouted. They bolted across the field. Frankie streaked past them, disappearing into the white. The Infected were gaining on them and one, a female, surged ahead of the others. Her bulbous, waxy head was covered with stringy red hair. Yellowish crust had built up around the bottom half of her eyes. She snapped the air with her jaws, her mouth ringed with sharp, pointed teeth. Borderline stage-two. Possibly venomous.

  “Hurry!” Sanna grabbed Kai’s arm and half drug, half pulled him towards the flags. They were so close. Just a few more yards—

  The ground exploded. White clouded her vision as a force barreled into her, slamming her into the powdery snow. Two coppery discs loomed over her, dark irises jiggling behind them as if trying to focus. Above them, the heavy clouds split open, and thick clumps of snow further obscured her vision.

  Time to play. The voice slithered into her brain.

  Sanna swung her axe with a cry. A scabbed arm pinned her down. She landed a kick. The stage two’s ghoulish face lurched into view, his mouth hinging wide like a giant snake. His fat, forked tongue licked her cheek. You’re mine now.

  The stage two jerked to the side, Kai’s arrow sticking out of his neck. His grip on her loosened and Sanna shoved him off with a grunt. She rose, ready to finish him, but he’d already vanished into the white.

  Kai appeared, his dark hair loose around his shoulders. He had another arrow nocked and ready. “Did I get him?”

  “Through the neck.”